Parents, This Is What You Can Teach Your Son And Raise Him To Be A Good Man

It is a firm belief that children form moulded opinions while growing up. Apart from learning the ways of the world in their school years, most part of their healthy upbringing is credited to the parents. So mostly, it's up to the parents as to how they shape their child and what value system they instil in him or her. Moving on to a parallel thought, if we take India into consideration, the crime rate is always on a rise and most of the crimes committed are on women. Rape being at the foremost, a woman in India is raped every five minutes. Be it rape within a marriage or otherwise, consent is an issue with most people, especially men who violate a woman's sacred space. Is it because they're programmed to commit these crimes on women? No, not really. It's mostly because they're conditioning hasn't been strong enough for them to resist disrespecting a woman or having the potential of being the ‘good son'. Everything starts from grassroots. If the foundation is strong, why would the building even tumble or collapse? So, to the proud parents of a boy they're raising in this country, there are some solid values you can instill in your son, for him to be the man every woman desires and looks for. Raising a good son is not an unachievable task. It's about functional dynamics in a household and the equation each parent shares with the son. Both the parents can have an inevitable and imperative hand behind his behavioural development and make him the man he should become. Be A Role Model The most important aspect to teach your son to be the man he hopes to become is by modelling the behaviour you hope they embrace when they become men. This is especially true for fathers. Most young boys are fascinated and enthralled by father figures. Just as a little girl looks at her father as a superhero, little boys look up to their dads as someone who will save the day. So to instil values of responsibility and the ability to sacrifice when need be is a must. Both parents can be equal participants and teach their son on how to react to certain things and instances, if put under numerous circumstances. © Thinkstock/Getty Images Teach Him To Manage His Emotions The ‘tough macho guy who never cries' is a strong notion that's been spreading its roots vividly in the minds of men and it's tarnishing basic emotions a human must have. All the macho-ness looks great on television but in real life, the good guys are the ones who know how to deal with their feelings, in the right way. According to Christine Nicholson, a psychologist specialising in adolescent therapy- “some qualities that we stereotypically think of as ‘manly', are actually repressive – being stoic and in control, not showing how you feel. If your son is upset and you say ‘buck up, it's not that bad', he learns to hide his feelings''. In this case, since women are more open and outwardly with their emotions and feelings and they can teach their sons how to chanelise and show their emotions when need be. Mothers can noticeably change notions and tell their sons it's okay to cry when they want to and its okay to express their emotions when they have to. This way, the child will develop sensitive understanding towards his own emotions and the emotions of others. © Thinkstock/Getty Images Teach Him Empathy If boys are able to understand how others feel, it certainly makes them better friends to have and better fathers and husbands in the future as well. Although research proves that kids today are way less empathetic than kids 20 years ago. This is because there is so much digitalisation in today's day and age that they tend to become jaded and numb towards others pain due to the influence of technology, gadgets, videogames and the internet in their life. Parents can teach their son to be more in tune with other people's emotions and feelings by restricting his time with these influences and involving him in things that are way more creative. © Thinkstock/Getty Images Tell Him All About Respect Respect is learning to draw the line and showing enough or more consideration for someone else's feelings. A man who respects is respected back and this is the crux of raising a good son. A man who respects will always treat a woman like a gentleman and never cross his line or boundary with her. He will hold her honour in the highest regard and treat her as an equal. Not just women but he will be respectful towards everyone else too. To earn that respect he has to go through the right conditioning from the start. Parents need to teach him the basics of respect and make him wise about it. They can do that by instilling good examples and telling him the importance of being respectable towards someone else. © Thinkstock/Getty Images Encourage Him To Read And Actively Play A Sport As kids when you were growing up, what kept you occupied and happy? Mostly outdoor fun activities, indulging in a sport and picking out your favourite book and giving it a read were something's that made your day. There was no internet or a smart-phone or even videogames to take away your natural cognition. These elements contribute to long lasting relationships and good human behaviour. Encourage your son to read through pages and not so much off the internet. Actively involve him in a sport of his choice. Sports are a good way to release unwanted energy, making him patient and resilient in life. © Thinkstock/Getty Images Strengthen His Sense Of Self By strengthening his sense of self, we do not mean shower him with compliments and overlook his flaws. What we're trying to say is you should try and encourage him to build his self esteem and confidence. When a man feels good about himself, it's not egoistical but a sign of healthy confidence that comes with balanced conditioning. If you point out your son's wrongdoings and praise him for his good behaviour that balances his way of appreciating himself as a worthy human being and he develops a strong self of self, knowing the difference between wrong and right. © Thinkstock/Getty Images Don't Hold Your Affection Back When your son was little he grew up on a lot of hugs and kisses. You were constantly giving him the affection he deserved. When he hit adolescence, he probably became a bit distant and that's natural. Young boys often distant themselves from parents to find their own sense of independence but they always keep the affection they were given as kids, in mind. They dole out the same amount of affection for others, the amount they were given by their parents as kids. Even if they reach adolescence, an occasional hug is quite alright! © Thinkstock/Getty Images Teach Him To Never Shy Away From Commitment According to a research carried out by Cornell University, boys who have grown up without a father figure are usually the ones who are shy of commitment, mostly in romantic relationships. They don't want to be bound by anything and have a strong sense of independence. But that's not right. Commitment is a process to bring about stability in life. It could be commitment to work, a health regime, a relationship, a music lesson or even a meeting with a friend; a commitment should never be stalled or broken. That's one important value parents should teach their sons. A man who follows through with his commitments has his principles in place and finds stability. © Thinkstock/Getty Images Give Him The Freedom To Make His Own Choices While instilling the right values and beliefs system in your son, you should give him adequate freedom to make his own choices in life. To determine what's right or wrong should be his call absolutely. You can just guide him or set examples of right and wrongs but ultimately he gets to decide what he wants to do. A boy who makes his own life choices from childhood grows up without being dependant on anyone else and has a firm footing about what he wants to make of his life. He is very careful of the choices he makes and mostly his decisions are very calculative and smart. Parents should stop spoon feeding their sons and let him decide what's best for him. © Thinkstock/Getty Images Give Him A Lesson About Hard Work At the risk of sounding a little sexist, men do have an added responsibility of taking care of their spouse and children. Now, we're not saying women don't do the same, it's just believed that man is a breadwinner of the family, no matter what and he has to start fending for himself from an early age. Regardless of what society thinks or believes, hard work and dedication goes a long way and pays off well in the end. Teach your son true meaning of dedication and hard, honest work. Both the parents should set an example for him from their lives. A hard working man will work hard for and towards anything; be it a relationship or a job, a sport or any hobby he wants to pursue. A hard working man goes a long way and is appreciated by everyone. © Thinkstock/Getty Images Father and mother, both have different ways of conditioning their children, which is quite fair. A father probably cannot do what a mother does and vice-versa. If both impart their wisdom by conditioning their sons with the best qualities, then society at large will have men who respect, are humble and honest, commit to things they believe in, work hard for a living, treat their women right, are smart and intelligent and are confident. Don't you want a son like that? Well, this is your time to raise him just right!