Why Couples Fighting In Relationships Is Good, Contrary To What You Believe

Last night, after what could only have been a very eventful day, I ended up crossing paths with this man—he was easily in his 60s. And from somewhere, the conversation led to fights in relationships. The man had been with his wife for over 20 odd years. I say odd because when you fight the way this man said that they did, it does seem a bit odd that two people would still be together. And mind you, it wasn't out of desperation, or that the love had gone out from their relationship. Quite contrary. I saw a kind of love in the man's eyes that comes from years of having loved one person with all of one's being; loving someone like there's no tomorrow; like life and existence depended on loving that one person for the rest of one's life. © Pexels His wife called him an idiot. But, she knew he was right. “The secret,” he said “is that you fight through it all.” The good, the bad, the ugly and the nasty. The secret, he told me, was that you fight till your very last breath. Because fighting, he said, means that you're not giving up. Fights in relationships make you realize that you don't have it figured out at all. It brings you face to face with the ugly within the both of you. And, boy is there a lot of it, or what? Fights in relationships are a test. They're one of the biggest tests your relationship can ever be put through. It determines whether or not you were built to last, or to crumble at the very first sign. © Pexels Fights aren't bridges in relationships. They're the doorways. And you're standing bang under it! And once the fight is over, you will have more clarity about whether or not, you're in or out of it. Sounds strange, doesn't it? That something that can really bring out the nasty within two people can be one of the most telling signs of whether or not two individuals also love each other. Sure, there are countless studies that say that couples who fight only ‘n' number of times are the healthiest. But, that's hardly ever true. You see, if you're fighting each other for each other, it can never really go wrong because you're always coming back to each other. You're choosing each other over each other while you're fighting. In fact, that's exactly why you're fighting; because deep within you know that you'd choose this person over and over again, countless times and so, you're going to have to fight it out. © Pexels So, you should fight; unlike what every other study, article or magazine tells you. You should fight because you love the other person. You love them through their darkest moments; their lowest days and their roughest nights. You love them enough to stick through it with them; to get them through it and to get you through it. You love them enough to tell them they're wrong and explain why because you want them to know that you're going to fucking make it—either this way, or that. And you're ready to bet on them; bet on you; bet on all that you have—including your life—that this is going to work. So, you fight. © Pexels And the key is to stay fighting. The key is to come back to the room, lock yourself in and sort it out till you're clear on the littlest matter. Then, you open the door and walk out together, vowing to come back inside every time one of you is wondering, or doubtful, or distant. Because if you don't come back, then you'll just go farther away. So, fight with all your energies, all your breaths and all you have. Fight because your love and relationship depends on it. Just don't turn around and walk away. © Pexels