Here Are A Few Important Things To Keep In Mind While On Your First Date

There is really no hard and fast rule for asking a girl you like, out on a date and taking it forward from there. You could do it anyway. Through a text, a phone call, by directly approaching her or even through a friend and, of course, dating apps. Once you have her attention, that's where the real work starts. Now I am not undermining the efforts you put in to asking her out because that is quite a bit of a task but what happens after she has agreed for an evening out with you? (c) Pexels Sometime ago, I happened to swipe right on one of the profiles I found duly interesting, on a dating app I often refer to as the ‘dark space'. Well I do have my reasons and it's mostly due to the bulk of strange people you meet who leave a bad taste in your mouth. Men, women alike! So anyway, after swiping right, we started chatting up about life, likes and the Universe. The lad seemed quite okay for a purposeless banter every now and then. I found out he was a marketing professional who was settled in his ways and wasn't looking for anything serious at all. He would coax me often enough into meeting him but I would always stall the proposed ‘date night', a term he would use very often. After a few more conversations, I finally agreed to meet him for a beer. Because I've been a bit cavalier in the past about such encounters, I clearly told him I wasn't looking for anything serious and I wasn't looking to heading to his place or having him at mine, after our so called ‘date night' ends. He agreed a bit too nonchalantly and we met at a regular watering hole, for a drink or two. Here's what went down thereafter. The man was pleasant to look at, spoke well and cracked timely jokes to keep up with the conversation. We started talking about our likes and dislikes and after that the conversation went onto work, family and other worldly issues that didn't concern us directly. I was consciously steering clear of any personal conversation he was heading towards and would bring him back with some random jargon from time to time. (c) Thinkstock/Getty Images After a while I realised, he was on his fourth drink, while I was still on my first! I assumed he's a seasoned drinker and likes to drink enough to get comfortable. I was wrong. His banter turned a bit aggressive, he started being a little strange in his actions. He was uncomfortably touching me, trying to make physical contact and started talking about his previous girlfriends. He would casually place his arms around me and play with my hair. I had to politely tell him to remove his hands and keep them to himself but unfortunately, he hadn't learnt to listen! So I decided it's time to call it a night and head home. I told him the same and weirdly enough he was not okay with it. He started to revolt and asked me to stay with him for one more drink. A little uncertain about that decision, I somehow managed to convince him that the night was over for me and hurriedly left for my car, only to be followed by him. (c) Thinkstock/Getty Images When I got to my car, I turned around to wave goodbye and he just stood there like a statue under construction, waiting for someone to complete him. Before I could gauge his intention, he grabbed my waist and tried to kiss me, ‘tried' being the keyword because I had to push him away for not asking me before making such a brave, voracious move. I was just beginning to let go of the incident when he tried to do it again. This time I pushed away his untimely gesture a little more fiercely and was a bit assertive about him heading home or wherever he wished to head. I haven't heard from him since; thank God for that! Now, I am not saying that all women and men are the same. But all of us have different ways to respond to stimuli. What one should look out for, while on a date is the benefit of the doubt. Maybe men can keep a few things in mind, when they are not sure where it's going to head! The benefit of the doubt is all about keeping the odds at an arm's length and being a bit cautious about what they have to do, to get that second date and more! (c) Thinkstock/Getty Images For instance, never assume the woman says something and means something else! If she's told you clearly about her intentions for the night, stick to the agenda, keeping those intentions in mind! Don't come up with a hack, you can probably try later and get away with! Always be the gentleman you wish to be while on a date. A woman often looks for that quality more than anything else she looks for. Like not letting the door hit her face, when she walks behind you! If the woman seems a little uncomfortable with too much alcohol in her system, why don't you match up to her drinking speed instead? I mean, come on, it's not a boys night and you really don't need to chug your vodka down to prove a point, do you? If you sense a woman is staying clear of any past banter (like exes and how many times she's given head) we suggest you lay off that conversation too. It's a clear indication of the fact that the girl is NOT interested in discussing your past or hers! (c) Thinkstock/Getty Images Do not touch her inappropriately, especially if she's uncomfortable. You will know when she is! She will cringe and maybe tell you off. Why get there? Just keep your hands to yourself and maybe use them later, for yourself, when you're alone? Inappropriate touching is a big turn off! A handshake or a hug is alright though! Lastly, adhere to consent guys! It's the worst feeling in the world when someone goes against consent and questions one's will! It's just a simple right to someone's boundary and it's good to respect that! Other than that, I'm sure you're a charmer and you'll floor any woman you want or like. The guy I met though may never hear from me again and he has, in all probability, put me off dating apps for a bit but I'm sure there are men out there who're perfect gentlemen and do the right thing!